August 1st, 2018 I joined the #100StrongAndSexy challenge alongside about 40+ other womxn. We embarked on a journey towards being accountable to ourselves for 100 days, showing up to sweat it out everyday. My journey to loving my body has been a challenging one. I talk about it a lot, it’s been a constant task for me. Task in a not always good way, but essentially it’s good. Between my battles with weight while I was a young aspiring dancer, to when my father (in not so many words) would call me fat by instilling that skinny — no matter how one is skinny — is healthy, to having a baby which stretched my body to almost 200 lbs and yoyo-ing for years trying to come to a place of peace with my body.
I’m still not quite there, but after this challenge, I am closer than I’ve ever been. I would say I’m in the best shape of my life and wanting to go further and I really don’t ever want to compromise this feeling. This, where I am right now. So that means, letting go of the narratives that I uncovered:
- I struggled with my choosing to be vegan because I always felt like a burden/nuisance in asking for restaurants to cater to my needs for the joy of my body, especially when eating in communal spaces make it very hard — STILL (restaurants need to be more inclusive!! more than burgers or fries or pizza) That was a big one I was able to embrace honouring my joy, while also letting go of the guilt of asking for what I needed
- I also decided that I am letting go of my ‘just in case’ clothes. It keeps me on the yoyo and really, I love how my body looks, feels and moves when I am strong and fit, which has always boosted my confidence. Which in turn plays on my mental health, so I’m choosing my mental health and throwing away my ‘just in case’ clothes, because again, I’m choosing joy
- My belly. Before I had my child I had abs! and then that child stretched the shit outta me — winding up with a beautiful being and some loose stretchmarked skin. The places that I looked to for motivation and inspiration always had new mothers with taut bellies and I at one point longed for a tummy tuck (vanity is a helluva thing). But recently, I’ve found some incredibly fit womxn that have similar tummies to me, which has made me confident in embracing who I am as a whole person, and not just the parts that look ‘perfect’ on the surface.
So, now December 1st, I’m diving back into another 100 days (even though I haven’t stopped), with a new set of goals in mind. I’m super excited by the goals that I have for my body, my life, also a super exciting venture that I am working on that I can’t wait to share it with you all!
In the meantime, stay tuned to my instagram page (@stateofsate) for my 100 day journey to stronger and sexier! hah!
AAAAND — STAY TUNED 2019 is bringing NEW MUSIC! First single and video are coming so soon.
Keep the fire burning hot, Warriors!
peace, love, dirty rock & spirit guides,