New Year, New Single.
This is my Dirty Little Lie.
Coming January 25th
pre-save on Spotify here: http://ffm.to/satedll
August 1st, 2018 I joined the #100StrongAndSexy challenge alongside about 40+ other womxn. We embarked on a journey towards being accountable to ourselves for 100 days, showing up to sweat it out everyday. My journey to loving my body has been a challenging one. I talk about it a lot, it’s been a constant task for me. Task in a not always good way, but essentially it’s good. Between my battles with weight while I was a young aspiring dancer, to when my father (in not so many words) would call me fat by instilling that skinny — no matter how one is skinny — is healthy, to having a baby which stretched my body to almost 200 lbs and yoyo-ing for years trying to come to a place of peace with my body.
I’m still not quite there, but after this challenge, I am closer than I’ve ever been. I would say I’m in the best shape of my life and wanting to go further and I really don’t ever want to compromise this feeling. This, where I am right now. So that means, letting go of the narratives that I uncovered:
- I struggled with my choosing to be vegan because I always felt like a burden/nuisance in asking for restaurants to cater to my needs for the joy of my body, especially when eating in communal spaces make it very hard — STILL (restaurants need to be more inclusive!! more than burgers or fries or pizza) That was a big one I was able to embrace honouring my joy, while also letting go of the guilt of asking for what I needed
- I also decided that I am letting go of my ‘just in case’ clothes. It keeps me on the yoyo and really, I love how my body looks, feels and moves when I am strong and fit, which has always boosted my confidence. Which in turn plays on my mental health, so I’m choosing my mental health and throwing away my ‘just in case’ clothes, because again, I’m choosing joy
- My belly. Before I had my child I had abs! and then that child stretched the shit outta me — winding up with a beautiful being and some loose stretchmarked skin. The places that I looked to for motivation and inspiration always had new mothers with taut bellies and I at one point longed for a tummy tuck (vanity is a helluva thing). But recently, I’ve found some incredibly fit womxn that have similar tummies to me, which has made me confident in embracing who I am as a whole person, and not just the parts that look ‘perfect’ on the surface.
So, now December 1st, I’m diving back into another 100 days (even though I haven’t stopped), with a new set of goals in mind. I’m super excited by the goals that I have for my body, my life, also a super exciting venture that I am working on that I can’t wait to share it with you all!
In the meantime, stay tuned to my instagram page (@stateofsate) for my 100 day journey to stronger and sexier! hah!
AAAAND — STAY TUNED 2019 is bringing NEW MUSIC! First single and video are coming so soon.
Keep the fire burning hot, Warriors!
peace, love, dirty rock & spirit guides,
Yesterday was a tough day for me. At one point I thought, why the fuck am I doing this? Does anyone even care? With all the obstacles that get thrown at me, sometimes it just hard to be that strong fearless warrior. Like fuck. This life is not for the faint of heart. Problem, well it’s not a problem, I should say…Thing is, there is nothing else in the world that I want to do or that brings me to my knees in deep soulful joy, and you reading this, are a HUGE part of that joy. So I wanna say THANK YOU to all of you Warriors around the world — in the audience (on and offline) — showing up, pelting love, buying merch, streaming, commenting, sending dms, etc I appreciate it beyond words. You are why I bend, and not break. ⚔︎♥︎⚔︎⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
shoulder epaulette: @auntfunkyscloset⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
👀🔈NEW SINGLE/VIDEO in 2019 😈
There’s something about having a place to release.
There’s something about having ritual.
There’s something about being a vessel to allow spirit to flow.
Between last night and tonight, there were so many majickal moments of deep release, sacred ritual and being a vessel to allow spirit to flow through me, but these dudes, my dudes, holding me down onstage coaxing, coercing and supporting me every step of the way. To stand onstage with them, to witness them, to flow with them, to exchange this electric energy with them — is something I can’t even really explain — it’s a something you’d have to witness what/how we do (or I’d have to send you the feeling telepathically). Either way, you’d have to be in it and feel it. It’s majick and I’m so grateful that I get to do this/feel this over and over again. Fuck, yes. Feeling gushy.
So, huuuge thank you fuckos Wade O Brown, Tony Rabalao, Ben Healey & Juwayon Clarke (newnewguy) (this includes you too Piotr & Matthieu) thank you for making this first leg, a mf dream come true — it’s only the beginning!
Yes, the fuck I’m living my best mf life. SEEE?
Sooooooo excited to hit the road (two days!), but lately I’ve been getting a little anxious around packing and making sure I have all I need — having nightmares and shit — and then there’s this energy in the air around letting go of what no longer serves — things, people, narratives — these two words LETTING GO have been spilling out of mouths for months now, actually, ebbing and flowing, but it’s hella strong now. #Scorpio season is intensifying it by leading us down into the underworld for rebirth/renewal/release, on top of that, the veil is thin (geez all the feels). I’m feeling so fragile and permeable, yet courageous, clear and focused. And then my sister just reminded me that “I am enough and I have everything I need.”(for my trip) — I texted her back with a picture of my tattoo that reads “I am enough”
Indeed I am.
…with all that said — FRANCE!! Are. You. Ready!? 🇫🇷 We are coming with 🔥⚡️🗡
03.11 BOURGOIN JAILLEU
09.11 LE MANS
I chose Alala, actually she, goddess of the war cry, chose me. She’s in my blood.
I reached out to photographer, Jen Toole, after I’d seen her shoot with a couple other friends of mine, and she sent me the list of Greek Goddesses that she still had to shoot, and Alala was the first that resonated. I hesitated because, I feel like I always have my mouth open screaming fiercely, but I spent some time researching and she fit – she, her spirit is in my blood. She has been with me my whole life, but in different names. She is my mother, grandmothers, aunts, sister, and on and on, she is my ancestral lineage, so why would I deny her space in my body?
So here we are, preparing for battle.
makeup by Beth Cox // shoulder epaulettes by Aunt Funky’s Closet
Lookout for the book, The Goddess Array, coming soon. For more information: jennifertoole.com
Mes Guerriers! Vous m’avez manqué!! Mais je revieeeens!! // My Warriors! I’ve missed you! But I’m coming baaaack!!
02.11 – Champagnat – La Naute
03.11 – Bourgoin Jailleu – Les Abattoirs
07.11 – Cleon – La Traverse
09.11 – Le Mans – BeBop Festival
10.11 – Quimper – Novomax
16.11 – Amiens – Cité Carter
dessin // drawing: Isa Le Tonquèze
graphique // graphic: Wolf J
here’s a lil something I wrote for A.Side about what #BettyDavis means to me —
because I’m still high on that show from over a week ago and she’s still on repeat